if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
