she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
