when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
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He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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