She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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