Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
