At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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