Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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