I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
