Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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