He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
