like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
