You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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