addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
