Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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