there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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