Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
