I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
