chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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