it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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