Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night

(404): View more from Georgia

i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator

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(302): View more from Delaware

you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..

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(225): View more from Louisiana

thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.

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(775): View more from Nevada

A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(267): View more from Pennsylvania

you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

our poor poor cab driver

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(214): View more from Texas

I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido

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(585): View more from New York

Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.

(616): View more from Michigan

So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.

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(706): View more from Georgia

The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay

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