oh god the rape fog is back!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
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Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
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He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.