if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
