I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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