i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
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This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES