I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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