How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
