Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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