I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
