I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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