the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
