I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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