i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
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My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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