I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
