Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
