I smell stomach acid.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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