based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
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Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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