i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
