obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shark week go big or go home
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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