i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
