my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
