I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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