Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
