If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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