either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
