Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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