my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
