I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize