Apparently you make a good broom.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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