You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The ass gains better be worth it
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