At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
