You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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