he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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