Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
