Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
