My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
foreskin is a definite game changer
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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