There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
