The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab