return my video game
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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