it was like eating out sand paper
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
