so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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