UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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