Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize